For more than a month now I am decreasing one immune suppressor and replace it with another… On the one hand the level of energy is going up but have some unpleasant side-effects, no details here but he’ll not fun! I feel a bit depressed from time to time and this is really strange as I am not used to that feeling as this is not part of my mindset. I must admit that reaching the third anniversary of my hospitalisation soon is not helping and I can’t help myself thinking about that and this does not help me :).
On top of this, the weather is typical autumn and really rain, wind, low temperature is really painful and this is the time of the year when we moved to Malaysia so here I go again… watching pictures of those years (sun, heat, …)
Fortunately, job is exciting and helps not to focus on these side-effects and keep my mind busy with other things than how I feel. I now have to go back shopping to buy new shirts as my neck keeps inflating (thank you cortisone) and it is now impossible to wear a tie properly and same for a suit etc… Phew but hopefully it will be temporary as I start to hate my situation and getting body back will help me feeling better! Clearly it will take some time but I am used to deal with different clocks now… family, business, health, … These are not really in sync but who cares? We can’t do anything about that!
At least some good stuff happened this month… My kids did great at school, really nice reports came a couple of weeks back.
I am now dealing with a change in my therapy leading to fortnightly hospital visits to do aerosols that are replacing medics that may generate liver issues (if you remember this is the gamma GT markers that keep going up) and so we replace the medics who could impact the liver. So am back on a bed inhaling stuff but anyway have to do what I have to do here and health is a top priority if I want to keep going. What is hard is that each time you see new people around… Looks like it is continuously spreading and at all ages! No one seems to talk about it really and it is only when you open up that you hear people confirming that they have been through similar problems or their relatives or close friends! Sounds like we should be ashamed to be ill and going through a cancer while it is a lethal decease like many others…
I really feel fortunate because I have strong support from my family, friends and colleagues and this helps me going through these barriers and I can focus on getting better while living almost normally. I hope that I am still on my way to heal and will post again when I have reached another milestone… This may be my MBA graduation coming next month (keeping my fingers crossed) and that would be a fantastic one as it was a real challenge to do this is parallel of changing job and having a leukaemia…